


gettin' bi (reprise)

by returnsandreturns



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fade to Black, Ficlet, Friends With Benefits, Platonic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnsandreturns/pseuds/returnsandreturns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not talking about kissing for Harvard frat boys,” Heather says, then squints at her and waves her hand vaguely in the air, “or—debate team members, probably, I don’t—see you in a frat.”</p><p>“Yeah, I actually got a frat house on campus shut down for ethical violations, people hated me,” Rebecca says, brightly, nodding, “but I’ve done more than exploit the male gaze, okay, I actually shared one beautiful night with an exchange student from Italy named Enrica, which is Italian for home-ruler, and let me tell you—she lived up to the name.”</p><p>“I have no idea what that means,” Heather says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gettin' bi (reprise)

**Author's Note:**

> I love this show and had to make it a little gayer.

“I don’t get what you’re saying,” Rebecca says.

Heather sighs and sits down her bong.

“Men are the worst,” she says. “Maybe try girls before you _Ocean’s Eleven_ another dude.”

“ _Oh_ , okay,” Rebecca says, smiling knowingly. “I’ve done same sex experimentation, I went to college.”

“I’m not talking about kissing for Harvard frat boys,” Heather says, then squints at her and waves her hand vaguely in the air, “or—debate team members, probably, I don’t— _see_ you in a frat.”

“Yeah, I actually got a frat house on campus shut down for ethical violations, people hated me,” Rebecca says, brightly, nodding, “but I’ve done more than exploit the male gaze, okay, I actually shared one beautiful night with an exchange student from Italy named _Enrica_ , which is Italian for _home-ruler_ , and let me tell you—she lived up to the name.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Heather says.

“She ruled my home, Heather, like my— _home_ ,” Rebecca says, raising her eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, already said I didn’t,” Heather says.

“My vagina,” Rebecca says, seriously. “She ruled my vagina.”

“Wow.”

Heather takes a long drag, blowing smoke in the air thoughtfully. Rebecca watches it rise up into the air and disappear.

“So,” Heather asks, after a long moment. “What d’you think?”

“About Enrica?” Rebecca asks. “We were ships in the night, two crazy kids. Do I dream about her weekly? Yeah. Do I still think about her sometimes when I go to town on myself? Abso _lutely_ , but—”

“Let me just stop you right there,” Heather says, “because normally I’m way down for hearing stories about your traumatic youth, but I really just want to know whether you want me to, like, go down on you.”

Rebecca pulls herself out of a flashback musical number featuring the handful of stilted Italian phrases that she still remembers and says, “. . .wait, what?”

“Me,” Heather says, “going down on you. Like, therapeutically. So you don’t snap and serial murder anybody.”

“At most,” Rebecca says, faintly, “I would murder-suicide, but. . .you want to go down on me?”

Heather shrugs.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says.

“Oh,” Rebecca says, feeling weirdly touched.

“I mean, I’d expect you to return the favor,” Heather says.

“Right, yeah, of course,” Rebecca says. “That’s just basic human decency, I’ll absolutely reciprocate.”

“And you can’t fall in love with me,” Heather says, pointing a finger at her.

Rebecca smiles at her.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” she says, smirking.

Heather gives her a skeptical look.

“. . .yeah, alright, I’ll keep it in check,” Rebecca acquiesces. She did kind of try to convince Enrica to immigrate and run away to Maine with her, which is probably why Enrica promptly forgot how to speak English and Rebecca never saw her again, now that she looks back on it.

“Good,” Heather says. “Go take your clothes off. I’m gonna get a little more high.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Rebecca says. “Bed? Couch? Kitchen?”

“. . .oh my god, bed,” Heather says, and Rebecca nods.

“Good choice.”

*

“Gettin’ bi,” Rebecca sings, quietly, an hour or so and two extremely decent orgasms later, from where she’s laying next to Heather in her bed. “I’m gettin’ bi.”

“. . .are you singing right now?” Heather asks, not even lifting her face from where it’s buried in a pillow.

“Pfft, no,” Rebecca says, snorting. “Why would I be singing?”

“Because you’re a little weirdo,” Heather murmurs, slowly moving to wrap an arm around Rebecca’s waist and bury her face against her chest, “with a concerning musical theatre fetish. Now, shut up.”

“Are you using my boobs as pillows right now?” Rebecca asks.

“Do you mind?” Heather asks, muffled.

“Not really,” Rebecca says, shrugging a little. Her hand hesitates in the air before she drops it down onto Heather’s head, tracing fingers through her tangled hair.

“Don’t get romantic,” Heather murmurs, against her nipple.

“Sorry,” Rebecca says. “No romance. Just sexy cuddling.”

She pulls Heather a little closer and smiles, shutting her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk to me and stuff](returnsandreturns.tumblr.com)


End file.
